There and Back Again

Hello there. :) After much consideration, I decided to delete my old blog and start a new one. I got really sick of my old one, because most of the old entries on it were full of nonsense and despite rekindling old memories and crap, reading them years later made me cringe, seriously. Plus it's time to move on and start afresh!

I'm hoping to update this new one regularly, or at least try to.

So anyway. The end of last year (November and December) was really good for me. I stayed up every night, experimented here and there - totally harmless, I promise, met new people. New Year's was the best. Then came 2011. The beginning of this year was pretty nice. I thought it was, anyway. Then (insert unnecessary drama here) and then I got really emo and shit. Then something else came along, something so brief you could almost call it insignificant. Things weren't exactly alright, but they were good as long as I kept it in. I'd think, This is not right at all, I shouldn't feel this way because it's not even real anyway, but gradually I started loosening control over myself and thought What the hell. And just before I wanted to give in, shit happened and here I am. I guess I'm okay now, but a part of me is still left with mixed feelings. I want to forget and get a move on but at the same time I don't want to. Did he or did he not? I guess I'll just never know now. All I know is that it felt good at the time.

Right now I'm just bumming around. Feels like I'm neither here nor there. I want to do something crazy, I want to feel good again.

Instead of stuffing myself with food 24/7, I should just focus on studying since I haven't done shit and I pretty much screwed up my first term exam but I can't bring myself to do so. I've said this before, and it's starting to get annoying, but I NEED TO EXERCISE MORE WILLPOWER. Kiru inspires me, she really does. She can just sit down and study and ignore people around her. That's what I think she did anyway, while the whole bunch of us noisy people were in the library the other day. Did I mention she's my dealer? She unwillingly became my supplier. And no, I don't mean coke, I mean Panadol!

Oh my god. See how messed up my brain is now?


xoxo